But What If Animals Did Drink? BWIADW Parody
by Ghost Soda
Summary: But what if animals did drink and kill each other like a soap opera? Parody of Computerfans BWIADW, Rock and roll XD Read and reveiw I mean. T for drug referance, swearing ect. STORY DROPPED
1. Chapter 1  Wrong bus?

**Chapter 1 – Wrong Bus?**

**(Disclaimer: BWIADW belongs to Computerfan, AC belongs to Nintendo, not me)**

It was a raining day and I began getting my new sneakers wet, according to the weather man, it

was supposed to be a sunny day. Stupid weather man...

Not only that but ever since a certain teen pop sensation sold a new album, all I've been hearing

today is the same repeated words, 'baby baby baby nooooo!' and fangirl screams.

At gym, at science class, at the cafeteria, in the bathroom ect.

(Author note: this is not meant to offend any JB fans.)

Even now, his song is playing on a bunch of fangirls ipods on full blast.

Then I wondered, do the bugs also suffer from his music?

What if bugs and animals could feel irritation, love, sadness, fangirlness?

But what if some animals actully liked his song, what if they drank coffee and did crack when no one

was looking?

And what if they killed each other like in a soap opera?

Just then, the bus to JBs concert arrived and I was ran over by a mob of JB lovers.

Not only were my shoes ruined, but so was my school uniform, moms gonna kill me...

As soon as my bus came, I rushed in, eager to go home and listen to a song that didn't have the

word 'baby' in it.

Once I got on the bus, I looked at the driver, he looked weird. Upon closer inspection, he was...a turtle?

"Huh! You're a..TURTLE DRIVING A BUS!" I shouted in shock, this has to be a dream.

"No you moron, I'm a kappa!" The turtle-err kappa yelled irritated.

". . ."

'. . ."

". . ."

"SIT DOWN ALREADY DAMMIT!" The turtle snapped, I immeadeatly sat down on the nearest seat. A minute later, a blue cat with a huge smile and a sweater vest (omg what a nerd) approched me.

"Can I sit here, traveling is better in buddies"

"No." I snapped, that cat looked too happy, kinda creepy.

"WHY YOU NO HAPPEH?" the nerdy cat yelled, jumping on me, he reached into his pocket and pulled out a JB poster.

"Look, Justin Beiber makes everything better!" The cat said putting the poster two inches from my face.

The last thing that would make me feel better is more JB.

"Uhh.." I mumbled

"Isn't he totally sexy!"

". . ."

"I know right!"

"May I ask your name...?" I asked hoping he would get off me.

"It's Rover." He replied with a smile, moving into the seat across from me, letting me breath. A talking cat named Rover and a kappa driving a bus, I think I hit my head somewhere. Then, the kappa driving

the bus grabbed the cat.

"We're gonna need a minute to talk." The kappa said in his accent.

"But I wanna talk with my new freeeeind!" Rover whined, only to be dragged into the room in the back of the bus. I heard them whisper to each other but I could only hear every few words.

What was going on? Are they gonna capture me and test on me or something?

I was just about to get up and find a way out of this crazy bus when I felt something hit my head hard, sending me to the floor, and everything went black.

There's chappy one, reveiw please ^.^ This took me a while, credit to Computerfan for BWIADW.


	2. Chapter 2  Next stop, Honevray!

**Chapter 2 – Next stop, Honevray.**

**(Disclaimer: Animal Crossing belongs to nintendo and BWIADW belongs to Computerfan.)**

**(AN: This is not a poetry, its a parody, I accidentaly hit poetry by mistake :p I'll fix it.)**

I woke up to the sound of leaves crunching and puddles spashing, luckily, no "baby baby baby, nooo"

The rain outside still hasn't stopped, at least from what I can hear, since the turtle never bothered

with cleaning his windows, which were covered with dirt and dead bugs.

I stayed on the floor, not wanting to get up and praying that I'll fall alseep again and when I wake

up this will all turn out to be a crazy dream.

"Kapp'n, he won't wake up, was it really nessesary to hit him with a bat?" Rover asked the turtle.

"I'll wake him up. Rover, give me your ipod." Kapp'n commanded, holding out his hand.

"Uhhh..sure?" The cat reached into the pocket of his nerdy sweater vest and handed his

device to the turtle, Kapp'n pressed a few buttons.

"I know you love me, I know you..." as soon as I heard a few lyrics, I sprung up, took the ipod and

threw it out the nearest window.

"MY BEIBER!" Rover ran towards the window and saw his ipod.

"My first love broke my heart for the first time and I was like-" there was a crunch sound as it got ran

over by a truck.

Rover got on his knees, threw his hands to the heavans and cried. "WHYYYYYYYYY!"

"Rover...umm" I started, the cat just continued wailing like a baby.

"Rover!" I tried again, but the whining continued.

"ROVER, I'LL GET YOU A NEW ONE!" I shouted in attempt to stop his wails, just like that his wails

stopped and he looked at me in confusion.

"You will?" Rover asked, looking like he just saw a alien.

"Yes." I asked hoping to change the subject.

"So why are you going to Honevray anyway?" Rover said auckwardly, trying to start conversation. Wait,

why did he say Honevray?

"Don't you mean Alton?" I asked in confusion.

"No, this bus is heading to Honevray, a town with talking animals, like me." Rover said, while smiling. I

cringed at the thought of a town full of nerdy JB fanboys.

"I have to go home! My parents will kill me if I just leave, I'm already dead for ruining my school

uniform" I complained, sounding like a 10 year old.

"But you can't leave!"

"Why not?" I whined

"Because, once you enter this bus, and realise that its real, you can only leave when Kapp'n allows you

to." Rover explained, at this moment, I knew I had to create a plan that would involve using all

my knowledge of Kung Fu and my military stealth.

**(AN: AKA, he watches too much tv.)**

I kicked Rover in the shin and ran towards the turtle, strangling him.

"DIE TURTLE!" The bus began losing control, skidding around the street in high speed.

"I'M A KAPPA!" The turtle yelled with rage, trying to push me off and drive at the same time.

"I DON'T CARE!" I loudly retorted.

"GET OFF YOU BRAT!" He shouted. Rover managed to grab me, pulling me off, the turtle tried to

slow down the bus, which was hard to do with the wet wheels.

"LET ME GO!" I shouted, Rover continued to hold onto me until a rough stop caused us both to

slam into the wall.

"We're here!" Kapp'n called out, I looked out the window, Honevray was very bright and childish

looking, from the colorful flowers to the yummy looking fruit in the trees.

It looked happy, almost _too happy_.

"GET OFF MY BUS YEE DAMN FREELOADER!" And with that, the turtle picked me up and

dropkicked me out of the bus.

When I got up, I was in a brick building, and the clock was chiming and looked at a wood building a few

steps away, hoping that whoever was in there might help, I went inside.

Chappy two FTW!


	3. Chapter 3  Magic maps & backwards pants

**Chapter 3 – Magic Maps and Backwards Pants**

**(Disclaimer: BWIADW belongs to Computerfan and Animal Crossing belongs to Nintendo.)**

Once inside, the floors were so shiny, and I could see my reflection, there was also a recycling bin,

I had the urge to snoop in, but I didn't have any time, behind the desk there was a white pelican

in a pink girly dress. Her smile looked way too happy, almost as if she were planning something.

"Hello, welcome to Honevray!" She greeted in a cheery voice, she went around the counter and shaked

my hand like a phone on vibrate. "Hello, I'm Pelly, I work the day shift and my sister, Phyllis, works the

night shift, she really...nice." She paused.

"Anyway, what's your name? Where are you from? What's your favorite food?" She started to throw

questions at me as if she were interrogating me. It took me a minute to let it all sink in.

"Uhh, Louis, Earth and pizza." I answered.

Pelly's eyes widened as if she just saw an alien. "You're the Louis? I've heard much about you." She

looked excited, like a Beiliber that just saw Justin Beiber.

"Huh what?" I said, in confusion.

"Err nothing, here's a map of Honevray." She pulled a map out of her pocket and gave it to me. It was

covered in peanut butter.

"That's a list of the villagers and locations in Honevray, sorry about the peanut butter, that was from

breakfast." Pelly took the map, licked off the peanut butter and gave it back to me. Now there was

saliva on it.

"See those black boxes? Those are acres. Our town is seperated into acres, and when a villager leaves,

the map updates itself." It sounded like a super computer. I looked at the map.

Static in B2, Roald in B5, Cube in C2, what nerd names, I thought. Mitzi from C2, Rosie in C2,

Purll from C5, Kabuki from D1, Tank from D1, Bones from D3, Dora from D4, Nibbles from D4,

Portia from D5, Wolfgang from E2, Goldie from F2 and Bob from F4.

On the left of the map were the list of locations, Acre A1 held a Nook's Cranny, very geeky name indeed.

a dump in A2, a gate in A3 which is how I came here. The post office was in A5, the estate office was in

B3, the town hall was C1, which is where I was, Police Station E1, Wishing Well E4, Museum E5, Able

Sisters F1 and the Pierview Diner at F5.

What? No Walmart? No Gamestop? Lame.

I was about to put the map in my pockets when Pelly threw peanut butter at my face.

"What was that for?" I demanded, trying to wipe the sticky sweetness off my face.

"I was trying to get your attention." Pelly explained calmly.

"And you couldn't just say 'can I have your attention?'" I asked, irritated.

"Nope." Pelly answered, grinning. " I can lick it off if you wan-"

"NO!" I shouted, then realizing how fast I said it, I repeated myself.

"I mean It's okay, you don't have to." Pelly raised her eyebrow and I changed the subject.

"So why did you need my attention." I asked.

"Oh yeah, I need to give you a backpack." She handed me a tiny Hello Kitty backpack, I took

it but it barely fit on my back.

"It goes on your belt." She stated. "Also, every time you get an item in Honevray it will have a button that turns it into a leaf." She did so with the map. "Try it."

In awe, I took the map and pressed the button and put it into my bag.

Pelly chuckled happily, almost..._evilly._ "As for your house, you should probably pick one of the houses on the map you want then we can finish your forms."

I decided that at a time like this I had to use conning and deep thought to pick the perfect home, I

decided on eeny meeny miny moe.

I mumbled eeny meeny miny moe and ended up on the house that was closest to the beach.

I decided to check it out.

When I went out, by some miracle it was snowing, really hard.

"How the crap is it snowing in the middle of July?" I pondered out loud, shivering. this place was crazy.

And now I gotta get a house here. Crap.

"Kay, that's it of chappie 3...only two pages, what now?" LilKitten pondered.

"YAOI!" Goldie shouted.

"NO!" Everyone else yelled.

"I got it! We can listen to JB since I got a new mp3!" With that Rover turned on his JB, everyone covered their ears.

"BABEE BABEE BABEE NUUUUUUUUUU!"

Then Josh '_accidentally' _hit it out of his hand, causing it to smash on the ground.

"Noooo! He was soo young!" Rover bent down onto the remains of the mp3 and sobbed.

"Anyway, maybe we should sing!" Louis thought out loud.

"Justin Beiber?" Rover suggested.

"Never." Josh said.

"Black eyed peas!" Louis suggested.

"Yeah!" LilKitten agreed.

**(EN: Readers can skip this if they want.)**

"I gotta feeling..." Louis began.

"...That tonight's gonna be a good night" Rover sang.

"That tonight gon' be a good night." Kapp'n sang with a accent.

"That tonight's gonna be a good good niiight." LilKitten sang.

"Tonight's the night! Lesh live it up!" Wolfgang sang.

"I got my money! Let's spend it all!" Tank sang.

"Go out and smash it! Like oh my god!" Kabuki sang.

"Jump off that sofa! Let's get get off!" Cube sang while penguin sliding on a sofa.

"I know that we'll have a ball, if we get down..." Rosie sang, while dancing.

"...and get go out and just loose it all." Purll sang.

"Fill up my cup!" Portia sang.

"Mazal tov!" LilKitten sang.

"Look at her dancing!" Bob sang about Rosie.

"Just take it off!" Roald sang.

"Let's paint the town!" Nibbles sang while holding a blue paintbrush.

"We'll shut it down!" Goldie sand out of tune.

"Let's burn the roof!" Kabuki sang while burning the roof.

"And we'll do it again!" LilKitten sang while dancing.

"Let's do it!" Static sang.

"Let's do it!" Mystery sang

"Let's do it!" Laura sang

"Let's do it" Josh sang.

"Let's do it!" Jenny sang.

"Let's do it!" Mystery sang

"Let's do it!" Louis sang.

"Let's do it!" LilKitten sang

"Let's do it!" Mystery and Laura sang.

"Let's do it!" Static sang.

"Let's do it!" Josh and Jenny sang.

"Let's do it!" Louis sang.

"Let's do it!" LilKitten sang.

"Let's do it, let's do it!" They all sang.

"Here we come!" Static sang.

"Here we go!" Roald sang.

"We gotta rock!" Bones sang.

"Easy come," Cube sang.

"Easy go!" Mitzi sang while dancing ballet.

"Now we're on top!" Portia sang, playing the piano.

"Feel the shot" Static sang.

"Body rock!" Rosie sang, while still dancing.

"Rock it don't stop!" Mitzi sang while still dancing.

"Round and round!" Purll sang while spinning on a record.

"Up and down!" Mystery and Laura sang.

"Around the clock!" LilKitten sang, on a clock.

"Monday, Tuesday.." Tank sang.

"..Wednesday and Thursday.." Bones sang.

"...Friday, Saturday.." Dora sang.

"Saturday to Sunday!" LilKitten sang.

"Get get get get get with us!" Nibbles sang.

"You know what we say-ay" Wolfgang sang.

"Partay every day-ay." Bob sang.

"Party every day and I'm feeling.." LilKitten sang.

"That tonight's gonna be a good night!" They all sang with a big finish.

**Well I just turned this into 5 pages! 3 being song. XD Omg why is there so many typos, it's like**

**typo after typo after typo, muuuh and if I don't fix dem, then the grammar check gives me crap bout it!**

**Grammar check - ): *shuns LilKitten***

**Anyway, that song was Black Eyed Peas – I Gotta Feeling, I don't own it, also, since it's 1 am, I decided to just type some of the song. Anyway, I'll try to have more comedy in the next chappie.**


	4. Chapter 4 Raccoons and minislaves

**Chapter 4 – Raccoons and Mini-slaves**

**(Disclaimer: Don't own BWIADW or AC, AC = Nintendo, BWIADW = Computerfan, NOW LET'S GET THIS SHOW ON DA ROAD!)**

The town was confusing, like a maze, with trees that I run into and annoying bugs.

I ran around, holding the map up to my face, then I lost the feeling of grass under my feet and

almost fell off a cliff, luckily, I stopped just in time, I was about to look for a ledge, someone ran

into me, causing us both to tumble off the ledge, bump, bump, bump, bump, CRASH!

I opened my eyes to see I was on top of a purple cat.

**(And somewhere in the world, a yaoi fangirl squeeled...)**

Once I realized where I was, I got up and rubbed my ankle. I took a look at the cat.

"Sorry, Josh! I was just running so fast, I didn't look where I was going..pthhhpth" The cat explained fast.

"I ain't Josh, foo!" I stated plainly, I frowned. the purple cat got on his feet, he was wearing a pink

dress with flowers, lame, he had a darker patch of purple on his eye and a creepy smile.

"Yeah, you are, you just put on some major chubbs." The cat chuckled.

"No, no I didn't, shuddup you

**(censer for teh lolz)**

son of a

**(censered. :P)**

furry

**(censer. o3o)**

my little pony

**(censered... )**

creeper! My name is Louis, not Josh, I'm new in this town, and who the biscuits are you?"

The cat was shocked by the language for a minute then said. "Sorry, I didn't know, I was just kidding about the chubbs,pthhpth and..."

The cat got lost in thought.

"Nevermind, So you're new here?"

"Yes, I am. Who. Are. You?"

"I'm Bob, and I love lolita, pthhpth!" He handed his paw out, and I shook it, it felt weird shaking a paw.

"So, do you know where my house is? It should be near the beach."

Bob thought for a secend then nodded. "That blue rof house, I'd kill for a house like that! It's a bit too  
>small for me though. Nook could expand it if you pay him, pthhhpth" Nook?<p>

"Who the crap is Nook?" I asked, we walked through the forest, I hoped that there were some normal

people here.

"Wacha talkin' bout Louis?" Bob asked quickly.

"He runs one of the few stores in this town, pthhpth." He explained, spitting on me a bit.

I raised my eyebrow, then we got through the forest and arrived at the seemingly endless ocean.

"LOUIS!" Bob yelled, pulling me out of my trance.

"YES!" I yelled back.

"STOP YELLING!" Bob yelled.

"Bah humbug!" Bob pointed at a house

**(Duh duh duh duuuuhhhhhhh! Okay I'm done now.. :p)**

that was double my size, and as big as a car.

"This cardboard piece of crap is my house..? What are the others like?" I stared in disbelief.

Bob shrugged. "The only difference is the roofs are painted different. Same cost and furniture, just different location."

I crawled inside the small door and Bob followed, I hoped that at least the inside were nice. Bob began

sniffing the air.

"It has the scent of Bob in it.." He mused.

The only furniture were a cardboard box, a candle and a dusty tape deck. The floor was crappy and

slightly broken and the walls were peeling off. Crappy on outside and inside.

"So every house is crappy?" I asked. "Where do I sleep, on the floor?"

"Of course not!" Bob led me up the stairs to a small bedroom where I had to crawl around.

There was a bed and a phone. That helped a bit.

"So what do you think?" Bob asked, with a huge creeper smile that made me want to call the cops.

"Eh, I like beaches so this will do." I nodded.

Once I left the house, I saw a chubby raccoon.

"Welcome to Honevray! I'm sure you will get along here fine!" He started shaking my hand faster then

Pelly did.

"Who are your, creeper?" I demanded.

"HE'S NOOK!" Bob yelled, running out of my [almost] house, falling over halfway.

"Louis needs to see Josh first to get his house sorted out, pthththththththth." Bob explained, getting

up from his fall.

Get my house sorted? Wut?

"Oh yeah, well, how much money do you have?" The raccoon asked, I got an idea.

"Nada, nothing." I grinned.

"This will work perfectly!" Crap.

"I could use some help at my shop, you need money, how about you become my part-time

mini slave-I mean employee! What do you say?" Nook asked, in hope.

"What? What would I have to do?" I asked, millions of scenarios going through my head.

"Deliveries..and chores..stuff." Nook said slowly.

"Fine." I hoped that he wouldn't make me do anything weird.

**Chapter 4 is done, and in one day! W00t!**

**Now if only I could get my other fanfics done this fast. orz**


End file.
